Love, Drama and Tuna Juice

Hi Internet! So after reading the title you might be having a bit of “Chandra…what are you on?” moment but trust me, by the end of the post it’ll all make sense. As tradition on my blog, this is going to be another life story but after all my blog is just me trying to sort through the bits and pieces of my life.

This story starts in 2011 actually when Anna became friends with this group of girls because they were in the same class and I used to hear about them all the time. In fact, Anna had actually been organising to buy me a GHD hair straightener for my birthday. I remember on the card she had put everyone who had contributed to buying it and there were these girls on their who I wasn’t friends with but little did I know, in less than one year these girls would be my closest friends. If you guys have been reading my blog for a while you would’ve read Undiagnosed but still real and so you would know most of the story but for anyone who might be new here, I’ll just do a quick summary of what happened. I became attached to Chrissy and slowly worked my way into the group becoming friends with the girls and bringing in a few other girls until there was about 10 of us. The Mob was fully assembled.

As the year went on we all grew closer and closer and I loved them with my whole heart. One of my favourite memories from high school has to be with a few of them when we went on school camp. I remember on the last day of our camp out and we had to walk 16km back to the main campsite with our huge packs and we hardly had any food left. That morning I made one cup of milo and a cup of soup for everyone and then we had about a handful of cereal left and that fed the six of us. Keep in mind all this food we had, we had to share amongst the six of us but throughout the day we had a packet of M&Ms that no one wanted to eat because we needed carbs, one mandarin, a couple of corn thins and a few fruit bars. I’ve never been so deprived of food in my life and then when we finally got back to the main camp site everyone was eating lunch but we had no food so another group gave us a packet of spinach wrap bread, one cucumber, half an avocado and the weird end bit of a stick of salami. Someone also gave us the remains of a packet of tuna and after using the actual tuna on the bread I remember I drunk the juice because I was so hungry. I’m not even ashamed because we were pretty much fighting for our lives there! There were so many more memories but let’s just say One More Night by Maroon 5 has permanently been changed for me.

Although we were all so, so different the one thing we all had in common was that we were the fangirls. Each and every single one of us was in at least one, if not, many fandoms and that understanding of one another was something that bonded us together. We were all a little crazy and just loved to have fun. Sure, the other girls might have judged us and thought we were weird but we couldn’t have cared less. We never hesitated to sit on the ground, scream for our lives when there was a lizard or one of our chair’s legs fell through the drain or take hundreds of pictures and selfies. I really imagined this to be the group I would grow old with and they would all be my bridesmaids at my wedding and we would grow old together.

I guess things change and that’s not going to happen. “Why?” you may ask. Well, starting in Year 11 and then just continuing through to the end of Year 12, we would always be having small arguments and although things would always go back to normal after a while, it was far too easy for there to be drama amongst the group. We would always overcome said drama and it would no longer be a problem. The boat first started to majorly rock at a concert that they had extremely kindly gotten me a ticket to, which I never had the chance to thank them for because of the fight that followed it but it meant so, so much to me. One distinct thing I remember from that night was during the concert they were singing “Mr Brightside” and all I wanted was Chrissy to be by my side to sing it with. There’s just something about that song that makes it one of the best songs to perform at a concert.

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Anyway, there was a major argument and now, looking at it, there was just such a chaotic mix of things going on that I could never attribute the blame to any one party but suddenly there was me and Karin on one side and the others on the other side. A few days after we all seemed to have made up but I could still feel a bit of remaining tension in our group. This tension completely evaporated about a week later there was a small picnic amongst our extended group of friends and everything felt perfect again. Weeks later, Uni started and that was when we slowly started to drift apart. I sat with them sometimes in lectures but at the same time, wanted to make new friends so I was also sitting with them in lectures and through timetable clashes and arrangements to sit with new friends we hardly ever got to sit together and hang out like old times. It was obvious what was happening to our group but it was inevitable because it just seemed neither party wanted to fight anymore and we just let nature take its course. They soon made a new group chat which Karin and I knew about pretty soon but there wasn’t anything we could really do about it so we just gravitated towards our new friends. By the end of the year, it was done and this once, loud and fun group became two.

Although we all remain friendly towards each other, we know it won’t go back to what it was before and even though in our hearts and minds the memories won’t ever disappear, no one would ever know we were all once best friends. Karin and I often talk about what could have been and having these beautiful girls no longer with us, how much we miss them and just the completely different dynamic we used to have but life happens and you just have to move on I guess. Our new group is so great and I love them just as much but a part of me still pains for The Mob. I grew up with these girls and we all just had so much history and although I’m still struggling to fully move on, I know its for the best because the Universe evidently had different plans in mind for me.

From this experience I truly learned not to take friends for granted because sometimes you don’t realise how great something is until you lose it. On the other hand I also learned that everyone is entitled to happiness and if someone isn’t making you happy anymore, it’s okay to cut them out of your life. Everyone is loved by someone but sometimes the person you thought was good for you might just be a better fit for someone else and it wouldn’t be right to keep them when everyone would benefit from it…if you just let go.

– Chan

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